


Freakazoids

by moiracat



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Instead of Dying They Move, Based off of Freaks and Geeks, Humanstuck, Lots of Chats, M/M, Multi, Somewhat Chat Fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-02
Updated: 2014-01-02
Packaged: 2018-01-06 20:39:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1111268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moiracat/pseuds/moiracat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karkat Vantas has never fit in and he knows it, ever since his social group has been slowly disappearing, so he begins to wonder if the clique he's been hanging out with is the right one. On a spur of the moment decision, he visits the back patio of the school where all the druggies/ misfits hang out. He never thought he would see Dave Strider back there, much less end up falling in love with him. </p><p>Dave hangs out with all the bad kids, and gets in fights with Gamzee Makara, king of the kids who smoke on the patio, on a daily basis. He honestly hates all of them, but only decides to stay when a certain nobody joins the group. </p><p>[Based on Freaks and Geeks (slightly plot-wise), but there's gonna be a lot of chats and fun stuff.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter is basically just the intro. Sollux is moving away and Karkat tries to help but whatever. The real shit will start next chapter.

\--carcinoGeneticist began memo "INSATIABLE ASSHOLE'S GRIEVANCES AND GOING-AWAYS"--

CG: WELL, IT'S OFFICAL. THE ONLY ASSHOLE THAT CAN TOLERATE MY UNADULTERATED FUCKERY FOR MORE THAN TWO MINUTES IS LEAVING US ALL. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF, YOU MASSIVE DOUCHE.

CG: I SEE HOW IT IS. BECOMING QUIET AFTER I SO ELOQUENTLY SPILLED ALL OF THE CONTENTS FROM MY MIND ON THE PERFECTLY POLISHED METAPHORICAL FLOOR. I UNDERSTAND THE HARD-SHIPS OF NOT ANSWERING YOUR BEST FRIEND QUICKLY ENOUGH.

CG: SOLLUX?

\--twinArmageddons has joined the memo at 3:05 PM--

TA: oh hey kk.

TA: ii was kiinda hopiing that at 2ome poiint all of u2 would 2top 2peakiing about iit.

TA: aa was even kiind enough two 2pare the conundrum2 twoday.

TA: but ye2 iif you iin2ii2t ii am iimmen2ely 2orry. 

CG: THAT WAS KIND OF THE MOST ASSHOLE REMINISCENT MOVE YOU COULD HAVE PULLED ON ME, CAPTOR. LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE. NOW, I FEEL IMMENSELY BAD FOR ME, ARADIA, AND YOURSELF. WAY TO GO.

CG: ANYWAYS, I ASSUME THAT YOU'RE GOING TO BE KEEPING THE ENTIRE GROUP POSTED ON YOUR UNDISCLOSED LOCATION. YOU'RE LIKE THE FIFTH ONE TO LEAVE OUR PRESENCE.

CG: NOT INCLUDING SERKET IN THE CARIBBEAN.

CG: SHE CAN KINDLY STAY IN WHATEVER HOLY SACRED CREVICE THAT'S MANAGED TO KEEP HER SANE FOR MORE THAN A YEAR.

\--arachnidsGrip has joined the memo at 3:18--

AG: I see you kids couldn't stop talking a8out little old me for very long, could you?

AG: I mean, not that that isn't totaaaaaaaally understanda8le, 8ut yknow.

AG: Can we please refrain from talking a8out the spooky chick???????? She's more of a 8itch than I am. I'm surprised she could even let you off the hook, Sollux. You aren't exactly innocent in this case, either! ::::/

CG: WHAT HOLE DID YOU CRAWL OUT FROM, VRISKA? YOU SOUND DISGRUNTLED AND MORE IRRITATING THAN USUAL.

CG: WAIT, NEVERMIND. DON'T ANSWER THAT. THIS CONVERSATION ISN'T ABOUT YOU.

TA: exactly. no one a2ked for your opiiniion on anything much le22 aa.

TA: though iif iit make2 you happy iim currently doiing a 2eriie2 of compliicated 2omer2ault2 for your uncomfortable pre2en2e.

TA: congratulatiion2.

AG: As much as I hate to admit it, Sollux, without you I'm completely lacking in the sarcasm department. 8ut, as you depart, so will they. Ahahahaha.

AG: You 8eing uncomforta8le with me is no skin off my 8ack. I let 8ygones 8e 8ygones.

CG: OKAY, NOW THAT THE LOVELY REUNION IS OVER, AND I THOUGHT THE OVERWHELMING ROLLER-COASTER THAT IS VRISKA SERKET COULDN'T GET ANY WORSE THAN IT JUST DID. LET'S GET THE TRAIN OUT FROM THE ABYSS THAT IT HAD LONG AGO FLOWN OFF OF, AND BACK ONTO THE ALMOST TANGIBLE TRACKS.

CG: THIS ONLY BEING US THREE IS MISERABLE AT BEST. RELATIVELY BECAUSE OF THE ATTENDANTS OF THIS SHITTY GOING-AWAY PARTY.

\--apocalypseArisen has joined the memo at 3:50--

AA: this calls for party hats

\--apocalypseArisen has exited the memo at 3:51--

CG: NO! ARADIA, GET YOUR CELESTIAL-ENTHUSED ASS BACK IN HERE BEFORE I LITERALLY RIP YOUR BOYFRIEND'S EYE SOCKETS OUT AND FORCE FEED THEM TO YOU. 

\--apocalypseArisen has joined the memo at 4:00 PM--

AA: karkat i was just getting the party hats! i was very serious about that you know 

AA: we dont need to talk about sollux leaving us anyways 

AA: i believe that if we leave well enough alone everything will be alright 0u0 

CG: UNFORTUNATELY, YOUR FAITH DOES NOTHING FOR ME. IF IT DID, I'M CERTAIN THAT I WOULD BE PATHETICALLY LYING NEAR YOUR FEET, BOWING TO THE ALMIGHTY GODDESS THAT'S MANAGED TO SAVE US ALL. THANK THE FUCKING LORD. 

TA: aa'2 riight liike alway2.

TA: were all goiing two contiinue talkiing twogether liike 2o. 

AG: For once in his life, Captor finally managed to figure out something that won't mess up my life in the process!!!!!!!! W8W!!!!!!!!

AG: So proud. Okay, while you losers lie around 8eing lame, I'm gonna go do something fun. 

AG: L8tr. 

\--arachnidsGrip has exited the memo at 4: 13--

AA: i think its time i leave too 

AA: goodbye sollux and karkat

TA: yeah ii thiink that2 my cue two olliie on out of thii2 2hit ehehe. 

\--twinArmageddons has exited the memo at 4:20 PM--

CG: YOU KNOW WHAT. FUCK YOU GUYS. WE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A GODDAMN CONVERSATION ABOUT ANYTHING, BESIDES ARADIA. I'M STILL GONNA FUCKING MISS THAT ASSWIPE. 

CG: TO HELL WITH YOU IDIOTS. 

\--carcinoGeneticist deleted memo "INSATIABLE ASSHOLE'S GRIEVANCES AND GOING-AWAYS"--


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is where all the real shit happens. Karkat goes into retrospect about all of his friends and decides to ditch Aradia for one day to sit out back with the 'Freaks' (this is where Freaks and Geeks comes in).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so the dynamic in this is weird. Karkat is friends with Sollux for various reasons, Aradia because she's a packaged deal with Sollux, and Vriska because she's a lot like Karkat in the obnoxiousness factor. The freaks are Gamzee, Tavros, Terezi, Dave, and soon to be Karkat. Heads up Karkat has a slight crush on Gamzee but all that shall be washed-away in the next chapter, you dweebs.

He hates school.

It isn’t because he’s bullied (no, it’s the opposite of that really.), and it isn’t because he isn’t well-liked or that he has a problem making friends. It’s because he doesn’t fit in. Sollux used to help him feel like there was something there besides just some empty lunch tables and a filled locker, but now he’s gone, he’s gone away to some pretentious middle class school for the gifted, leaving nothing in his wake besides his chumhandle and a quiet girlfriend. Vriska used to help too, same with Aradia. Vriska’s off on some trip for the remainder of the semester and Aradia isn’t the girl she used to be.

They used to be the Fucked-Up Four; that’s what he used to call them anyways, back when Aradia liked dirt and digging and not dead things. They used to be a goddamn team. Sometimes, he thinks about when he loved school. Sometimes, he thinks about throwing Cheetos at Sollux’s face until Vriska cried, and other times the memories escape him completely. Sometimes, he thinks about hanging with the other kids, when Terezi Pyrope wasn’t some nobody like him, and they had dated.

The day is quiet. Sunshine floods through the windows in each classroom, blinding him until he can’t look at the board straight anymore. Birds chirp outside, giving him the most massive headache imaginable. A day like this should be good, he knows it too, and Karkat Vantas can’t bring himself to think positively about anything. No one’s making any sound, he should like that, he should like that contemplative silence, but he doesn’t. It doesn’t fulfill anything anymore. Not when that’s all he hears twenty-four seven.

He yawns, he blinks away the sleep/pressure behind his deep brown eyes so that he can make sure to target the kid he’s flipping off when he turns around in Science. He grumbles to himself while putting up his shit in his locker because Aradia is all the way down the hall. He makes sure to find her though. He makes sure to bring up the absence of him right now, and how he honest to god misses his lisping ass. He wouldn’t ever admit it, but he kinda likes listening to ‘Hey losers!’ every day too, even with the exact amount of exclamation marks and everything.

Karkat is tired with this place that he hates. He’s exhausted of having to sit at lunch with Megido, listening to her talk about how she found some raccoon’s dick bone on the side of the road. He wants to go home. He could always fake it, clutch his stomach like some pregnant woman in contractions, hope for the award of his life-time much like Leonardo DiCaprio always has , though he knows the nurse well-enough that if he did come in, he’d be sent to Principal Scratch.

School is boring.

He tries taking out his phone in class -- he sits in the back so Ms. Paint can't see him clearly enough, even if he had gotten caught. He pulls up the blinking pesterchum application that he had always thanked his friends for finding. Sollux probably wasn't doing anything at the moment, same with Vriska. They were both lazy fatasses when they have nothing to do and he happens to know that by pure fact, along with experiments long forgotten about.

 

> \--carcinoGeneticist began pestering twinArmageddons at 1:20 PM--
> 
> \--twinArmageddons has blocked carcinoGeneticist at 1:21 PM-- 

At this point, he almost throws down his phone (ready to watch the screen shatter like all the other ones). Sollux wasn't going to just ignore them, not just like that. He had promised the day before yesterday in obnoxious mustard-yellow script that they would continue talking like '2o'. But he can't throw his goddamn phone down, no matter the betrayal from some  _kid_ that he knew would end up doing this. What the fuck was he even talking about.

School was dumb.

\----

This time, at lunch, almost directly after being close to literally smashing his phone into a brick wall several times, he didn't sit with Aradia. Karkat Vantas was done with creepy ghost-girls and bipolar imbeciles, done with frankly all of the Fucked-Up Four. Vriska was a massive bitch (yet she was still the only one to parry his angry advances to acquaint her facial features with his fists). Aradia did nothing (yet she could calm him down, just like everybody else couldn't. Plus she was actually right in the mind). Sollux was just some douche that he had token in out of pure spite (yet he's still getting flashbacks of all of them).

He sits outside.

It's so much different out on the back patio. There are barely any girls, much less ones' he would talk to ever in his lifetime. The birds have gone silent, they aren't chirping lively anymore, as if the presence of these people has scared them all to death. The sun is hidden by the awning. Quiet, dark, much like a scary movie where the absent-minded white girl whom barely had any brains fucks around with some supernatural-looking bullcrap.

Cigarette smoke coils around him, finding it's way through the passages of his lungs. His mind kind of wonders if he could second-hand smoke just as easily as the people who had been out here longer, but he shakes away the thought quicker than it had come. Karkat leans his body on the cold stone wall for a moment, processing what in the actual hell he had been doing out _here_.

They hang out back here; the island of misfit toys, that's what the old counselor used to call them. They're all just like him in a way, fucked-up beyond all belief because of death, or absence from old friends. He decides that he'll talk to them, act openly friendly or whatever to them. He stops leaning for a few seconds. Doing a slow jogging pace, he acts out of breath, sliding up on the bleachers next to some boy he doesn't recognize.

"Mind if I sit out here with you asswipes? I'm trying to get away from my, uhm, friend." he spits.

The tall one, the one right next to him, utters "Sure lil' motherfucker, stay right here and watch the miracles happen."

The girl, it's Terezi, laughs. "Oh hey Karkles, see you finally took up my invitation to the wrong side of justice." She furrows her eyebrows into this arrow shape just like she always has. She's an familiar among a crowd of new faces, though it's rather refreshing, he just grumbles in reply. She flicks him on the nose, right where the dark skin used to erupt in gross acne. 

There's a boy in a wheelchair, stumbling over words to greet him before some unassuming douche with shades pops up. "What Tav means to say is yo."

"Can't the guy speak for himself?" Karkat snaps, a little too softly. "I mean, he's a fucking paraplegic not some retard basketcase you guys need to baby."

It goes silent. Too silent and he almost thinks they're going to crowd him, kick his ass, then leave his bloodied pulp out on the back patio as some warning sign for those against the misfits back here. But they don't. Terezi kind of cackles, the tall kid loops his arm over his shoulder, 'Tav' shakes his head so hard Karkat believes it's going to fall off of his body at any moment, and Douche W/ Shades lets out a soft huff.

"Y'know, I think you're gonna be one of our motherfucking new best friends."


End file.
